Does anyone remember the song "Independent Woman" by Destiny's Child (and we thought back then that Beyonce was amazing...seriously how does this woman keep.getting.better???) It became this theme song for single, financially-fairly-stable (or at least pretending) young women everywhere.
Yeah, that rock I'm rockin'?? I bought it.
A mantra saying: I don't need a man to support or take care of me. I've got all that covered, but if you'd like to be an accessory or recreational hobby, here's where you can sign up.
Somewhere between the failed plans and the great interruptions of my life, between the good and the "let's just block that one out" relationships, I find myself automatically coming back to this idea of self-sustainability. Now, I'm not watching Charlie's Angels and channeling Lucy Liu, but I work hard to get to the point where I'm a well-run, self-sufficient factory - just in case someone else breaks my heart or doesn't follow through.
And, strangely enough, I usually feel some sort of shallow pride in the fact that - - I take care of me.
Last weekend, I hung pictures in my apartment. I climbed on chairs, made marks on walls, used my own hammer and nails, and did the entire job by myself. It felt pretty good.
Last night, we had the biggest spider in our bathroom that I'd ever seen - about the size of the palm of my hand.
Initial reaction: desire to throw up and run away
My room-mate hateshateshates bugs. I didn't want to terrify her so I took a deep breath, knocked the daylights out of the little varmint, and quietly disposed of the remains - - realizing afterwards that for some reason I did this entire ritual while holding my breath.
I accomplished the mission by myself, and instead of feeling pretty good...it just felt sort of lonely.
Some days, it would be nice to have let someone help me hang a great picture of Italy or kill the spider for me - or at least stand there sharing a good laugh.
Song of the Day: Heartless(cover) by William Fitzsimmons
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