Thursday, February 3, 2011

Super Bowl Etiquette

I love football. There's an empty place in my heart during spring and summer where some good tail-gaiting and tackling usually reside.

Growing up, we were not allowed to interrupt my grandfather when the Pittsburgh Steelers were playing, the penalty would be death glares and family isolation. As a child it seemed silly, but now I understand he was just passing us down the torch of real football fans. That which separates the individual who watches the football game from the person who pays attention long enough for RedZone moments and mistakes Sunday evenings for social time.



A Guide to Super Bowl Manners....Stay Classy.


1. Do not walk in front of the TV.

2. Passing the snacks around doesn't require sound unless it's "mmmmm's" or the crunch of Doritos.

3. Talking is okay when special teams come on the field, but only if it pertains to the subject at hand.

4. Limit yelling at the ref to 10 words, unless a repeat commercial is following.

5. Telepathy helps, practice it.

6. No whining. If your team stinks, your nagging voice isn't going to improve them.

7. If you bring someone new to the group and your team starts losing, it's perfectly acceptable to exile him/her to a different room. Even if it's your grandmother.

8. No girly drinks. Your questionable choices will distract real fans.

9. Any celebratory dancing must stop by the time the next play commences.

10. Don't start talking trash if your team is behind. You just look desperate and will probably have fewer friends later.

11. If no one answers your question, wait until half-time to ask it again...at your own risk.

12. Don't shriek unless it looks like a player has a compound fracture. It's football. It's supposed to hurt.



Song of the Day: She's Got You High by Mumm-Ra

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