Beauty in the Battlefield
Inhale
The Lover departs.
Exhale
The Warrior steps into darkness
To remedy a Paradise expelled.
Oh, sleepless night.
Blood-stained cheeks
Bended knees.
Father, if it be Thy will
Let this cup pass over me…
Oh, lonely light.
Bathed in the moon
On the other side of pain
Heavy such agony
Heavy the strain.
Oh, tragic sight
Evil crosses the gate,
Combat begins with the press of cold lips
Humanity turns on eternity with a loveless embrace.
Betrayal wrapped in a kiss.
Time collapses this instant.
Empty armed
Open handed
Loaded heart
The garden gives way to the battleground
Oh, beautiful fight.
No cry yet forth from the Divine.
Patience, the Warrior shall avenge
The Lover shall redeem His sleeping bride.
Ecstasy awaits in the distance
For He will awaken her with a Son’s rise.
Song of the Day: I Have Loved You Wrong by The Swell Season
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Daffodil
Spring is my season. There's life and excitement and hope almost tangible in the warm air.
It makes you want to do silly things, like read poetry and believe in love at first sight, as you shed your winter coat and exchange it for your most comfortable pair of flip-flops.
My very favorite flower is the daffodil. ( I think I'd rather receive one of these than an entire bouquet of roses! ) The first flower of spring, it stands tall and bright against the green grass. They come every year, usually popping up everywhere - my parents' backyard, medians down the highway, the local grocery store - but they never fail to stop me in my tracks. There's something delicate and brave about flowers that will bloom even if there's still some snow hanging around.
I've been known to completely lose my train of thought just by seeing a daffodil. To me they look like tiny stars that have fallen to the ground.
I'm not such a fan of winter. The dark days and coldness just clings to your bones after a while, and by the time the end of February rolls around, I'm dreaming of the way it felt to drive with the windows down on my car.
The daffodils are small trumpets announcing that spring and picnics and outdoor concerts and being barefoot are just around the corner...
We somehow made it through another winter after all.
As William Wordsworth said:
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
Song of the Day: Tin Man by the Avett Brothers
It makes you want to do silly things, like read poetry and believe in love at first sight, as you shed your winter coat and exchange it for your most comfortable pair of flip-flops.
My very favorite flower is the daffodil. ( I think I'd rather receive one of these than an entire bouquet of roses! ) The first flower of spring, it stands tall and bright against the green grass. They come every year, usually popping up everywhere - my parents' backyard, medians down the highway, the local grocery store - but they never fail to stop me in my tracks. There's something delicate and brave about flowers that will bloom even if there's still some snow hanging around.
I've been known to completely lose my train of thought just by seeing a daffodil. To me they look like tiny stars that have fallen to the ground.
I'm not such a fan of winter. The dark days and coldness just clings to your bones after a while, and by the time the end of February rolls around, I'm dreaming of the way it felt to drive with the windows down on my car.
The daffodils are small trumpets announcing that spring and picnics and outdoor concerts and being barefoot are just around the corner...
We somehow made it through another winter after all.
As William Wordsworth said:
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
Song of the Day: Tin Man by the Avett Brothers
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Lab Coats
When I was in 2nd grade, I decided that my favorite subject was science. It allowed me to pretend I was making brilliant discoveries in uncharted mental territory (i.e. make home-made sky blue Gak). This romance with science has stayed with me for the rest of my life. I'm pretty sure that the only reason I got accepted into my undergraduate research team was becase I wrote in the personal history part of the application that as a child I used to stay up past my bedtime to fill blank journals with all the information I could find on my favorite topics: dolphins, stars, tigers, and dinosaurs. At the time, I thought this was research at its finest - collecting everyone else's findings and compiling them into something great. Nevermind the fact that I was completely plagarizing at the age of 6. Sometime in college I narrowed down my "what do you want to be when you grow up" answer to "Someone who gets to wear a lab coat." And I do. 
As a dietitian, (Diet-Titan) I get to wear my white lab coat wtih a stethoscope around my neck, sans the 5 years of graduate education to get an MD at the end of my name. The stethoscope is for checking your blood pressure with a cuff - the good old-fashioned way, not like these crazy gadets they have now in hospitals. Side-note - - it's really hard to check your own blood pressure this way. And this isn't just ANY lab coat, mind you. It's a 100% cotton, empire waisted with princess seams lab coat - a gift from a dear friend who knows me all too well. Yes, I am a fashion-conscious medical professional. I'm trying to make the health field more beautiful, one step at a time. Once in a while innocent patients mistakenly call me Doctor. I correct them...sometimes. Song of the Day: When a Heart Breaks by Ben Rector
As a dietitian, (Diet-Titan) I get to wear my white lab coat wtih a stethoscope around my neck, sans the 5 years of graduate education to get an MD at the end of my name. The stethoscope is for checking your blood pressure with a cuff - the good old-fashioned way, not like these crazy gadets they have now in hospitals. Side-note - - it's really hard to check your own blood pressure this way. And this isn't just ANY lab coat, mind you. It's a 100% cotton, empire waisted with princess seams lab coat - a gift from a dear friend who knows me all too well. Yes, I am a fashion-conscious medical professional. I'm trying to make the health field more beautiful, one step at a time. Once in a while innocent patients mistakenly call me Doctor. I correct them...sometimes. Song of the Day: When a Heart Breaks by Ben Rector
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Spiderwoman
Does anyone remember the song "Independent Woman" by Destiny's Child (and we thought back then that Beyonce was amazing...seriously how does this woman keep.getting.better???) It became this theme song for single, financially-fairly-stable (or at least pretending) young women everywhere.
Yeah, that rock I'm rockin'?? I bought it.
A mantra saying: I don't need a man to support or take care of me. I've got all that covered, but if you'd like to be an accessory or recreational hobby, here's where you can sign up.
Somewhere between the failed plans and the great interruptions of my life, between the good and the "let's just block that one out" relationships, I find myself automatically coming back to this idea of self-sustainability. Now, I'm not watching Charlie's Angels and channeling Lucy Liu, but I work hard to get to the point where I'm a well-run, self-sufficient factory - just in case someone else breaks my heart or doesn't follow through.
And, strangely enough, I usually feel some sort of shallow pride in the fact that - - I take care of me.
Last weekend, I hung pictures in my apartment. I climbed on chairs, made marks on walls, used my own hammer and nails, and did the entire job by myself. It felt pretty good.
Last night, we had the biggest spider in our bathroom that I'd ever seen - about the size of the palm of my hand.
Initial reaction: desire to throw up and run away
My room-mate hateshateshates bugs. I didn't want to terrify her so I took a deep breath, knocked the daylights out of the little varmint, and quietly disposed of the remains - - realizing afterwards that for some reason I did this entire ritual while holding my breath.
I accomplished the mission by myself, and instead of feeling pretty good...it just felt sort of lonely.
Some days, it would be nice to have let someone help me hang a great picture of Italy or kill the spider for me - or at least stand there sharing a good laugh.
Song of the Day: Heartless(cover) by William Fitzsimmons
Yeah, that rock I'm rockin'?? I bought it.
A mantra saying: I don't need a man to support or take care of me. I've got all that covered, but if you'd like to be an accessory or recreational hobby, here's where you can sign up.
Somewhere between the failed plans and the great interruptions of my life, between the good and the "let's just block that one out" relationships, I find myself automatically coming back to this idea of self-sustainability. Now, I'm not watching Charlie's Angels and channeling Lucy Liu, but I work hard to get to the point where I'm a well-run, self-sufficient factory - just in case someone else breaks my heart or doesn't follow through.
And, strangely enough, I usually feel some sort of shallow pride in the fact that - - I take care of me.
Last weekend, I hung pictures in my apartment. I climbed on chairs, made marks on walls, used my own hammer and nails, and did the entire job by myself. It felt pretty good.
Last night, we had the biggest spider in our bathroom that I'd ever seen - about the size of the palm of my hand.
Initial reaction: desire to throw up and run away
My room-mate hateshateshates bugs. I didn't want to terrify her so I took a deep breath, knocked the daylights out of the little varmint, and quietly disposed of the remains - - realizing afterwards that for some reason I did this entire ritual while holding my breath.
I accomplished the mission by myself, and instead of feeling pretty good...it just felt sort of lonely.
Some days, it would be nice to have let someone help me hang a great picture of Italy or kill the spider for me - or at least stand there sharing a good laugh.
Song of the Day: Heartless(cover) by William Fitzsimmons
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Ash Wednesday
This is a link to a poem by T.S. Eliot (the T.S. stands for Thomas Stearns in case you were wondering...) that I read every year on Ash Wednesday.
It's the first poem he wrote after converting to Christianity and delves into the struggles that exist between despair and hope.
I figured he would do a much better job describing Ash Wednesday than myself. After all, I've never won a Nobel Prize...not yet anyways.
It's the first poem he wrote after converting to Christianity and delves into the struggles that exist between despair and hope.
I figured he would do a much better job describing Ash Wednesday than myself. After all, I've never won a Nobel Prize...not yet anyways.
It's a pretty long poem, ergo great distraction from hunger if you're fasting.
http://http//www.msgr.ca/msgr-7/ash_wednesday_t_s_eliot.htm
http://http//www.msgr.ca/msgr-7/ash_wednesday_t_s_eliot.htm
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
PhatTuesday
My life completely revolves around food.
That's not a complaint.
Today I have had 2 patients cancel and 1 no-show on me. Why? It's Fat Tuesday. I mean seriously, who would schedule an appointment to see a dietitian on a holiday with the word "fat" in the title?? Certainly not me.
I enjoy a reason to throw my healthy eating training to the wind just as much as the next person.
At 9:30am this morning I was hungry (yes, I'd already eaten breakfast...). Usually I would drink a bottle of water and tell myself: "Suck it up, Haaland. It's your job to avoid cravings." But, not today!!
At 9:30am you could have found me in the staff kitchen, eating half of a chocolate chip cookie. The kind that are soft and gooey in the center with chocolate chunks (not puny chips). So far, this has been the best choice of my day.
Our office manager walked in looking shocked. I shamelessly and messily responded, mouth still partly full with semi-sweet chocolate chunk goodness: "It's Fat Tuesday. I'm practicing my Catholicism."
I mean really, how is she supposed to come back at that??
It's not like I ate the entire King Cake (that could be because there wasn't a King Cake).
Song of the Day: Feels So Right by Matt Wertz
That's not a complaint.
Today I have had 2 patients cancel and 1 no-show on me. Why? It's Fat Tuesday. I mean seriously, who would schedule an appointment to see a dietitian on a holiday with the word "fat" in the title?? Certainly not me.
I enjoy a reason to throw my healthy eating training to the wind just as much as the next person.
At 9:30am this morning I was hungry (yes, I'd already eaten breakfast...). Usually I would drink a bottle of water and tell myself: "Suck it up, Haaland. It's your job to avoid cravings." But, not today!!
At 9:30am you could have found me in the staff kitchen, eating half of a chocolate chip cookie. The kind that are soft and gooey in the center with chocolate chunks (not puny chips). So far, this has been the best choice of my day.
Our office manager walked in looking shocked. I shamelessly and messily responded, mouth still partly full with semi-sweet chocolate chunk goodness: "It's Fat Tuesday. I'm practicing my Catholicism."
I mean really, how is she supposed to come back at that??
It's not like I ate the entire King Cake (that could be because there wasn't a King Cake).
Song of the Day: Feels So Right by Matt Wertz
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
"Great see to you!"
It's a tad bit ironic, really. The people who I want to impress the most, or care the most about how they think of me are the same ones I tend to be the most awkward around. Maybe it's because I'm over-thinking each thought, and in some cases, even each heart-beat.
It's the moments when I'm the most self-aware that I'm the least like myself.
There's a history of this in my life, especially when it comes to boys. When you're in high school it always seems as though it's the random kid who you just happened to smile and say "good job" to after an exceptional physics grade that asks you out...while it's the tall, dreamy ones who leave you completely tongue-tied that one moment where they seem to notice you.
Now, not just boys, but graduate school interviews, potential coaches, bosses...those people in life who I really want to seem spectacular around are the ones with whom I'm so uncomfortable.
It just happens to be a little worse with boys.
I thought we'd grow out of this by now, like pimples before the school dance. But, alas, I for one seem to still be trapped in this phase from time to time. The more attractive the guy, the more likely I am to invert some word or miss my cue for a great witty comment, despite the fabulous shade of lip gloss I'm wearing.
I was pretty sure that those moments would completely fade when I started carrying business cards and paying my own rent.
It's those moments when I care the most, when I'm the most worried about being vulnerable, that I'm suddenly no longer comfortable in my own skin. As though I've been thrown back to the 6th grade and I'm all elbow and knees. But I knoooooow (sometime on the drive home) that if I could have just been myself, it would have been easy breezy!
But, there's not much to do except get a good laugh about it and keep practicing talking to the boys - - praying that maybe one day, a good one will find the fact that you just invented a new word(s) out of nervousness...adorable.
Song of the Day: Someone Somewhere by Jason Reeves
It's the moments when I'm the most self-aware that I'm the least like myself.
There's a history of this in my life, especially when it comes to boys. When you're in high school it always seems as though it's the random kid who you just happened to smile and say "good job" to after an exceptional physics grade that asks you out...while it's the tall, dreamy ones who leave you completely tongue-tied that one moment where they seem to notice you.
Now, not just boys, but graduate school interviews, potential coaches, bosses...those people in life who I really want to seem spectacular around are the ones with whom I'm so uncomfortable.
It just happens to be a little worse with boys.
I thought we'd grow out of this by now, like pimples before the school dance. But, alas, I for one seem to still be trapped in this phase from time to time. The more attractive the guy, the more likely I am to invert some word or miss my cue for a great witty comment, despite the fabulous shade of lip gloss I'm wearing.
I was pretty sure that those moments would completely fade when I started carrying business cards and paying my own rent.
It's those moments when I care the most, when I'm the most worried about being vulnerable, that I'm suddenly no longer comfortable in my own skin. As though I've been thrown back to the 6th grade and I'm all elbow and knees. But I knoooooow (sometime on the drive home) that if I could have just been myself, it would have been easy breezy!
But, there's not much to do except get a good laugh about it and keep practicing talking to the boys - - praying that maybe one day, a good one will find the fact that you just invented a new word(s) out of nervousness...adorable.
Song of the Day: Someone Somewhere by Jason Reeves
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